What If?
by Maddy Moonchild
Summary: hide didn't die on May 2, 1998. He was saved. But he still lost his lover. He can't handle the thought of living without him, but he wants more than anything to revive X. Can he survive? Jrock, yaoi, hideYoshiki, AU. More info inside


Plot: An AU fanfiction starring X (X Japan), visual kei band. Information released said that Yoshiki Hayashi (drummer) and Hideto "hide" Matsumoto (lead guitar) were planning to revive X in 2000 without vocalist, Toshimitsu "Toshi" Deyama. Unfortunately, Hide died on May 2, 1998 and crushed these hopes. But, what if Hide never died? What if the two did revive X in 2000? This story is following this belief.

Pairings: hideYoshiki, Kamihide (in the past)

I do not own hide or Yoshiki in anyway!! I do own Shizuki Matsumoto and this story though!!

If you do not like yaoi, please leave, because there will be a lot of it in later chapters.

* * *

Matsumoto "hide" Hideto walked down the street of Tokyo, Honshu, Japan. It was 12:30 in the afternoon. He had an mp3 player's headphones in his ears as he strolled casually, a hum escaping his lips.  
"Hide! Hurry up!"  
Hide turned and looked at the person yelling at him. It was none other than Hayashi Yoshiki, his best friend.  
"Hi, Yosh!" he yelled.  
Yoshiki came over to him.  
"Did you forget we're looking for bandmates today?"  
"So, Heath and Pata said no?"  
"Yeah..."  
"That sucks like hell."  
Yoshiki laughed.  
"I guess it does."  
The two began to walk down the street, both clad in black t-shirts and faded jeans.  
"Hey, Yoshiki, you think we'll find anyone interested in joining?"  
"We're X. Who wouldn't want to join?"  
Hide laughed and nodded.  
"You're right!"  
The two arrived at a small club and Yoshiki stepped inside, surveying the scene. It was empty at this time of day, but there was a small stage.  
"There's a stage," he said, stepping back outside.  
"Any band?"  
"No. No one's in there anyway."  
"True. They have a schedule?"  
"I'll check."  
Yoshiki went back in and looked on the walls, hoping to find a schedule. He saw nothing.  
"No schedule."  
"Okay. Let's go."  
They made their way down the street, looking inside different clubs and searching for bands. How hard could it be to find two people to join a band?  
Sometime later, Yoshiki and Hide sat down, waiting for a taxi.  
"Hide...I think we've looked enough today."  
"Okay...wanna go tomorrow, too?"  
"I guess..."  
"You have plans?"  
"No. You don't do you?"  
"Just in the morning. Won't take long at all."  
"Alright. We'll meet up at 11, okay?"  
"Yeah."  
"Here comes a cab," Yoshiki said, getting up.  
Hide stood up and both climbed into the car as it pulled up.  
"Harajuku-ku, please," Hide said.  
"Shibuya-ku for me."  
The taxi drove off and the two sat in the back, chatting about plans to revive their band, X. The car pulled up to Yoshiki's home.  
"See you tomorrow, Hide."  
"Bye."  
Yoshiki paid his cab fair and then shut the door, heading to his door. Hide waved good-bye as the car pulled out and drove away. A few minutes later, the car pulled up into Hide's driveway. He got out, paid his fine, and shut the door. He then walked up his driveway and to his door, which he unlocked. He pushed the pink door open and went into his bright pink house.  
"I'm home!" he yelled.  
No answer came.  
'_She must not be home _yet_,_'he thought.  
He took his shoes off in the small doorway and then walked into his home, heading for the kitchen. He opened the fridge and looked inside.  
"I need to buy groceries..." he mumbled.  
He got a can of soda out and shut the fridge door with his foot, walking out of the room. He looked at the clock.  
'_It's only 1:30. She gets out at 2._'  
Hide went and sat on the couch, turning the TV on. He flipped through the channels as he drank his soda. He stopped on the news and watched, listening to a weather forecast and then something going on in Kyoto. He changed it to a channel with a music video playing. He recognized the artist. Gackt.  
'Kami's_ friend..._'  
He changed the channel again, disgusted. He changed to a game show. Hide sighed, turning the volume down. He closed his eyes after finishing his soda. He dozed off, quickly.  
"Daddy! I'm home!"  
Hide sat up, abruptly awakening from his nap. He turned and saw a little girl coming from the doorway, dressed in a school uniform.  
"Home from school?"  
She nodded and then gave him a hug. She then went to put her stuff away, walking up the glass spiralling staircase that was inbetween the living room and kitchen. He got up and followed her up the stairs. She walked into her room, which was two doors away from the top of the stairs on the right. The room was painted baby pink and had light purple butterflies decorating the walls. She sat down on her bed and Hide came in and sat next to her.  
"How was your day?" he asked.  
"Good. How was yours, daddy?"  
"Fine. Yoshiki and I are still looking for band members, because Pata and Heath decided not to rejoin us."  
"That's not very good."  
"You're very right."  
Hide smiled at her and then kissed her on the forehead.  
"Shizuki, are you up to going on an adventure with me?" he asked.  
"I dunno. It depends."  
"Well..." he looked to the side as he paused, "I have to go to the grocery store, but I thought we could go to the park afterwards if you come with me."  
"Okay!"  
"Change out of your uniform and we'll go."  
Shizuki nodded and then got up, going over to her closet. Hide smiled as he watched her.  
"Daddy, get out! I have to change!"  
"Oh! Right!"  
He got up and walked out of the room as she shut it behind him. He waited for her downstairs as he turned the TV off. She came down the stairs and then jumped over the couch and tackled him. He fell back on the couch and started laughing as Shizuki sat up on his chest.  
"I got you!"  
"You did!" he laughed.  
He smiled up at her and grabbed the ends of her hair, playing with them.  
"Can we go now?"  
"Yeah."  
She climbed off of him and he got up. She now wore a pink knee-length dress which had a purple butterfly embroidered on the left side. She was pulling on her black slip-ons as Hide pulled some converse on.  
"Did Kami get you that dress?"  
Shizuki nodded.  
"Mommy said it made me look cute!"  
Hide smiled and watched as she pulled the door open and skipped out. He followed and closed the door, locking it.  
"Want to walk or take the car?"  
"Walk!"  
He took Shizuki's hand in his and the two began to walk down the street. Shizuki skipped along as she held Hide's hand and he kept at pace with her skips. They reached a mini-mart after a few minutes and went in.  
"Alright, baby. Grab what you want and I'll grab what we need. Grab a gallon of milk while you're at it."  
"Okay!"  
Shizuki walked toward wear they kept milk as Hide began to walk around the store, grabbing things he needed. He joined Shizuki in line a few minutes later, carrying everything. Shizuki held a few boxes and the gallon of milk. He took the milk from her and looked at what she had grabbed.  
"Poptarts? You really like those things, don't you?"  
"Yeah! They're yummy!"  
Hide smiled and then piled everything onto the belt of the checkout. He paid for it and grabbed three bags while Shizuki took one.  
"We'll take them home first and then go to the park, okay?"  
Shizuki nodded and they walked home. Hide put the groceries away and they then walked to the park around the corner.  
"Swings!"  
Shizuki ran to the swing and climbed on, trying to push herself. Hide walked over and pulled the swing back, then let go so that she would go forward. He pushed her as he said,  
"Swing your legs so you'll keep going."  
Shizuki was swinging on her own in a matter of minutes and Hide sat down, watching her. Shizuki played for a few hours and Hide followed her around, watching her to make sure she was okay. He picked her up when she was done as she was falling asleep.  
"We'll go home and you'll take a bath and then go to bed."  
"I'm hungry, daddy."  
"And I'll feed you," he smiled.  
He took her home and put her in the bathtub. While she took a bath, he made her dinner. She came down the stairs wearing purple pajamas with pink butterflies on the pants. She ate and then had Hide carry her upstairs to bed. He tucked her in and kissed her on the forehead.  
"Daddy?"  
"Yes?"  
"Do you think mommy is happy up in heaven?"  
"Yes. I think he's very happy."  
"Okay," Shizuki nodded.  
"Go to sleep, Shizuki. Have pleasant dreams. For Kami and I."  
Shizuki nodded as she drifted to sleep. He smiled and got up, walking out of the room, closing the door behind him.  
"Sweet dreams," he whispered.  
He then walked down the hall and went to bed, dreaming of Shizuki and his band...along with Kami.


End file.
